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First-Time Pregnant? You are Forgetting Something! The One Thing First-Time Mums Really Need

First-time mothers today are bombarded with everything they could want and more. From cribs, prams, baby monitors, and bags to teddies, bottles, dummies, and creams. And let’s not forget the latest hip-baby fashion. It’s hard to keep up.

I’ve even recently seen baby-wipe warming machines for sale (yes, they exist!) There is no end to the ‘essentials’ that women are sold in the name of keeping their babies safe, happy, and well.

But you are neglecting the most important person in this whole process. And guess what, it’s not the baby. And it’s not even your partner! (Though he really could do with a look in here and there).

Women are about to embark on the biggest transformational journey of their life. And they usually have no idea what’s coming. It’s just something we don’t talk about.

We busy ourselves with all the fun parts; the shopping, the decorating, and the dreams of an idyllic future. I would never want to take that away. It’s a beautiful time and I’m all for excitement where ever we can get it.

But mothers are increasingly entering birth and new motherhood completely ill-prepared emotionally, mentally, and usually physically too.

You see, our lives today are so fast. We think it’s normal. It’s not. The pace we move at is simply too fast for most healthy human beings to keep up with. Never mind pregnant women who aren’t eating, drinking, or resting nearly enough during these precious months leading up to their brave new role.

You might have guessed where I’m going with this. The person you are forgetting to pay attention to, love, nurture, and cherish is, of course, YOURSELF!

Childbirth courses have their place. They are great for preparing you more for what birth has in store. They may even throw in an hour of breastfeeding advice and, if you’re lucky, show you how to put a nappy on a plastic doll (I’ve never seen one of those kick back).

But we need to offer new mothers what they genuinely need. Not more gadgets, toys, and baby gimmicks. Not even more new mum pampering gift sets, though I always love to see mums nurturing and looking after themselves as much as possible.

From the moment you conceive, you are a mother. There is such a special opportunity here. One that most of us tend to miss. We, as human beings, are the only ones who carry our young for as long as nine months, compared to mammals in the animal kingdom. I can’t help but think there is another reason for this, other than the physical time it takes for a human baby to develop.

We, as new mothers, need time. Time to digest what’s happening. Life is taking a new turn. What’s ahead? What awaits us? Who are we becoming?

What a woman needs is resilience, strength, and power to take on their new role as Mum. An understanding and acknowledgment that everything in their life is about to change and how they can navigate this to grow into the wonderful mothers they will become once their new little one enters the world.

With the increasing numbers of mums coming into my therapy room exhausted and frazzled, I have finally found the time to put together this vital offering, one that has been bursting to come out for years. (Sound familiar?)

And so at last, I am excited to introduce my new 4-week online group program for pregnant women, ‘Birth 4 You: Transforming Birth & Beyond’.

The course logo is the Butterfly - the perfect analogy. The ultimate symbol of transformation. The caterpillar enters the cocoon, goes through a process, and, when the time is right, emerges as the unrecognizable stunning butterfly.

I invite you to enter your own cocoon, to slow down, reconnect and realign, emerging, perhaps unrecognizable, with a palpable inner strength and knowing of who you are, ready to embrace your new role as Mother.

The course will focus on developing each butterfly wing, the 4 components that make us up as human beings: Emotional, Mental, Physical, and Practical.

You might wonder why I haven’t included spiritual. And the reason is that the word is so loaded these days.

Don’t get me wrong, for me the whole thing is spiritual. Just watch a woman grow a baby and give birth with the millions of miraculous processes that this entails, and watch as this tiny new-born is capable of crawling unaided from their mother’s chest to the breast to drink. (Yes, I know this sounds impossible…look it up on YouTube!)

Mind-boggling, magnificent, and about as spiritual as you can get. But let’s face it, what a woman needs when it comes to birth is practical tools, so that she feels safe and equipped to deal with whatever might come her way.

A woman’s body is most certainly designed for birth and there’s really nothing we need to do.

But due to the extremely busy minds most of us inhabit as well as the hectic lifestyles we all lead, it has become essential to mentally prepare for birth.

Unfortunately, stress and tension have become the norm and this does us no good at all when it comes to birth.

It makes sense that the more relaxed we are, the better our births will be. But this is often easier said than done. Learning deep relaxation processes can allow us to get back to basics; To reconnect with the birthing instinct that resides within every one of us.

This includes incredible breathing techniques for birth, relaxation exercises, and visualization tools that will allow you to work with your body. Essentially, if your body is loose and limp during birth, it will open up smoothly and easily just as nature intended.

The mental aspect of the butterfly wing refers to our psychological well-being. Unbeknownst to most of us, we are living in a reality of our own making. It doesn’t feel that way. It feels like this is ‘just the way things are’. Rock solid real.

This is the part of the course where we explore what’s really true and you will, for sure, enjoy what you find.

Beneath our insecurities, doubts, and fears lies a strength and peace that most of us are completely unaware of. This is where blind faith can move into a true knowing that we are supported and guided in every moment.

We have something to fall back on. A home base that we can rely on. Always. Something more solid and true than any story we might be living out of.

Little children can show us the truth of this. Since they mostly live in the present moment, they are full of awe and wonder and don’t see the world in any fixed way. Their beliefs are still being formed and they are open to all possibilities, giving them a fresh and wondrous experience of life.

This is the potential for all of us.

We can move gracefully through our emotions and moods, easily and naturally, as we begin to see that true resilience lies within.

Last but not least, the emotional component is key. Most of us have fears surrounding pregnancy, birth, and motherhood, some more severe than others. It would serve us well to tackle these and enter birth and motherhood feeling strong, capable, and fearless.

This part of the course addresses those areas where we feel really stuck. Perhaps we find it harder to see them as just ‘a story.’

Being pregnant and moving to new motherhood offers an immense opportunity. Don’t lose yourself in this major life transition.

Enter into it knowing who you are, and what you want, and allow yourself to truly blossom in this next most vital and amazing stage of your life.

I look forward to meeting you, transforming your birth and lighting up your beautiful Butterfly Within!

If you’d like be one of the first 10 women to sign up at the Special Launch Price of £222 for 'Birth 4 You', please email quoting: TRANSFORMATION.

Join my FREE Masterclass on Tues 19th Sept 2023 to Learn More.

'Birth 4 You' 4-Week Program begins Thurs 28th September 2023.

Deborah Binun BSc MA MBACP Psychotherapist specialising in Tokophobia,

Birth Trauma & Post Natal Depression

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